About the author


Joy Harris

Joy studied elementary education before going on to teach at the primary school level as well as homeschooling for twenty-six years. Joy has touched the lives of thousands through her ministry in state Religious Education, Sunday Schools, and Holiday Bible Clubs as well as through her speaking at various seminars and retreats. Joy is also a gifted musician and has collaborated on multiple recording projects as well as maintaining a private teaching studio for over thirty years. Joy currently does missions support spreading her time between Uganda, Vanuatu, and her home in Australia. Joy has seven children and twenty grandchildren. You can contact Joy at


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    I always say there are two sides to consider,and when the Church starts acting like the world and pushing their agenda,then they create even bigger problems. I’m not discounting that there are legitimate claims being made by women,but from my observations,women are guilty of many offenses too. It’s not cut and dry. But since only one side is given here,please allow me to offer up the other,writen by a women no less.

    5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage
    You might be surprised to figure out you are doing these five destructive things that will ultimately ruin your relationship with your spouse.

    Katelyn Carmen

    (note from editor: your comment has been edited to exclude the long article you included. In doing this, you have broken the comment guidelines (accessible under the “COMMENTS” headline). You may add the link to the article, if you wish)

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    Joy Harris

    I agree that there are two sides to everything and the long article you posted (which was removed for breaking the comment guidelines) had good advice.

    However, you are concluding that the marriage is between 2 normal people who are mutually committed to each other’s happiness. This is not the abuse paradigm.

    I also agree that men are abused, not just women. As stated several times before in this series, I refer to the abuser as a ‘him’ because there is a much higher percentage of men abusing women statistically.

    The point with abuse is that nothing the wife does is good enough. She can do everything in your article and beyond (and usually DOES to ward off the abuse!) and that does not change the abuser behaving as in the chart at the top of my post.

    Additionally, even if a husband HAS a wife that is selfish and mean, nothing is an excuse before God for being an abuser. There is nothing a wife can do that justifies abusive behaviour. See Hosea’s story in the Bible.

    You have put the blame upon the victim. That is a typical reaction for those who have not researched the world of abuse for themselves. I recommend taking just 20 minutes to research “domestic violence” online.

    “Only one side is given here” because this is one post in a series and it is on abuse, not how to improve your marriage.

    “When the church starts acting like the world and pushes their agenda” – what was meant by that? When the church abuses women and children by failing to protect them, they ARE the world.


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