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Jane Gibb

Jane and her husband Steve ministered at Trinity Baptist Church in Cairns, Australia for fourteen years before moving to serve as missionaries in Port Vila, Vanuatu. Jane has a bachelor of education. Jane is active in ministry in Vanuatu as well as being a busy mother of six.

12 Comments

  1. avatar

    Jeremy

    Where did you get that picture of me?

    Reply
  2. avatar

    lumpy

    Sorry Jane, it’s too long…….fell asleep half way through. Did you mention babies and biscuits in the last bit?

    Reply
  3. avatar

    Jane Gibb

    Hey, I should have subtitled this “For Wives Only” . . . Very funny, guys!

    Reply
  4. avatar

    Jason Harris

    @Jane,

    I’m unclear on whether you’re referring to converted husbands? Is there a difference?

    How can a wife love her husband if she never confronts his sin? Your thoughts?

    Reply
  5. avatar

    Jane Gibb

    Good point, Jason. I’ve heard 1 Peter 3 explained mostly from the point of view that it is speaking about unconverted husbands, but I think the wording of “obey not the word” is broad enough to cover disobedient believing husbands. So in this post I was mostly addressing wives whose converted husbands let them down by failing in their responsibilities.

    General instructions for all believers include the commands to instruct, exhort, warn, stir up (to love and good works), admonish, and rebuke. In the body of Christ we should be doing all this for one another in the spirit of love. Peter is addressing the unique relationship within marriage where there is a God-given order. God graciously removes from the wife the responsibility of changing her husband. That’s a heavy burden and puts a lot of strain on a marriage. Instead, God reminds wives to focus on their own hearts and lives. A woman’s demeanour in the home frees her husband emotionally and spiritually to respond to other avenues of confrontation. A wife who is struggling with her husband’s refusal to submit to the Scriptures should first pray and then check her own spirit (is she submissive and respectful, gentle and quiet?) If he does not respond to her gentleness, then she should ask for help from the church. Men in the church should confront one another about sin in each other’s lives.

    Am I saying that there is never a time when a woman can speak to her husband about sin in his life? Or that she should not be bringing the gospel to him if he is not a believer? Not at all. But if her attitudes and actions don’t measure up to gospel grace, her words will fall on deaf ears, or worse–harden his heart.

    Reply
  6. avatar

    Joy

    I had the same question as Jason. There has been too much wrong teaching on submission and some husbands dictatorially command respect and servitude. God tells the husband to focus on his side (loving as Christ loves) and leave her submitting to God to convict her about, just as much as the opposite point is true that you brought out in your article. Because of this, it may be helpful to state that when abuse (physical, verbal, emotional) has become a pattern in his life, a wife is aiding in his sin if she does not get him some help. Separation for a bit may even be necessary to encourage this. It’s against the law, whether he’s a Christian or not. I’ve seen too much of this happen and it is tolerated for years in the name of being submissive.

    Reply
  7. avatar

    Jane Gibb

    Amen, Joy! I agree that there has been a lot of abuse from leaders on this topic and miserable marriages have resulted from imbalanced teaching on submission. I hope you read my previous comment and that answered some of your questions, especially the point about the church getting involved. And you are absolutely right that when a man is breaking the law, he needs to be held accountable to the civil authorities (police and court system), and his wife should have no qualms about that. But the church should stand with her and help her through whatever needs to be done. If she must do it alone, there is something wrong with the church.

    I actually intended to complete this topic next week, but failed to mention that it was only half-baked at the beginning. Sorry for the alarm it has caused you.

    Reply
  8. avatar

    Jason Harris

    Thanks for the clarifications Jane. I think your comment “Peter is saying, ‘Woman, get into your place and stay there!'” comes across as giving credence to the bigoted and perverted views of women and marriage which are so often preached and modelled in Fundamentalist pulpits. But I suspect you don’t mean it like that.

    Would you be comfortable to say that about men as well? Employees? Children? Pastors?

    Reply
  9. avatar

    Kez

    Thanks for the clarifying comments, Jane!! =)

    Reply
  10. avatar

    Jane Gibb

    Jason, you’re right about that sentence. I was preaching to myself when I wrote that, and I don’t think it’s far from Peter’s intent. But for a woman who has heard that kind of talk to her face, that comment would hurt. “In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking.” I confess I failed to weigh up the wider impact of my words. Thanks everyone for your gracious responses.

    Would I tell a pastor or a child or an employee to get in his place and stay there? Well, hopefully my words would be marinated with appropriate grace, but certainly each of us needs to know our God-given place in life and accept it from the Lord’s hand. Ultimately, submission should be directed towards God. “Submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”

    More next week . . .

    Reply
  11. avatar

    Kez

    I have some concerns, Jane, with your post.

    1) Couldn’t this post be very easily be applied in abusive situations? Isn’t that a huge danger, especially in a movement that has a serious track record of spousal abuse?

    2) Can you help me understand how this approach is different from just sweeping problems under the carpet or pretending they don’t exist? Isn’t “trusting God” just a cop out if we should be reporting offenses to the leadership of the church or to the cops?

    Reply
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