When Everything is Crashing Around You

I think I’d have a mental breakdown if I was in Job’s position yet he blessed God at the end of chapter one after all he lost and went through. A lot of people cursed God and died for much less than what Job went through. We should examine ourselves and see how we’d go in such a situation.

When we’ve had tragedy hit us we are quick to respond out of emotion to those around us. As the saying goes “Hurting people hurt people”. This can and generally does make a bad situation worse. This is especially the case when we are experiencing hurt from a loved one. We may react more violently than we would to the average John Doe if they did the same thing.

Breaking Bad News

I do a lot of reading online. I come across a lot of atheist, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu and Christian cult websites. I also read sites that promote different theological viewpoints to what I hold. In my reading I come across a lot of testimonies of Christians changing views or former Christians who leave the faith because they’ve become atheists or their lifestyle conflicts with Christianity and they don’t want to give up the former.

Almost unanimously those people have had negative experiences relating this news to their loved ones, especially their family. Time and time again people are ostracized, given ultimatums, yelled at and threatened. I’ve read of people who have barely declared that they are no longer Christian who have family members screaming violently at them that they are going to burn in hell. Some even seem to say it with a grim satisfaction.

News Flash: Wrong Reaction

The way we react will leave a profound impact on these people. If people are leaving the faith, we’re confirming what they have believed to be true; Christians are hypocrites. If people are changing their views that are sacred within “Cultural Fundamentalism” and they are treated as anathema by those whom they use to have tender fellowship with, once again they’ve confirmed in their minds the falsehood by the obviously bad fruit resulted of such views.

It’s understandable that we are hurt. If someone is moving away into what you perceive to be error it can be extremely painful to see them do such a thing. This of course tempts us to react in anger, frustration and as a result attack the people we love. Sometimes these wounds do not heal and we have to live with the consequences.

Breath in and Breath Out

Being slow to speak is a great advantage in such situations. Respond in love. Let them talk and reaffirm your love for them. This is something they have probably long feared to tell you because they wouldn’t know how you’d react. They’ll feel relieved to know despite your differences you still love and care for them. Of course this doesn’t dismiss your differences and you can let them know you don’t agree but leave the debate for another time when you both calm down emotionally.

If you’re not familiar with the issue, research it. Look at the issue from multiple angles (I can assure the other person probably has done the same, so study up) to get an in depth grasp of the issue. Depending on your background you may be completely oblivious to certain viewpoints. Rest assured though that there are a lot of books on the many topics that could possibly be brought up.

Whether the issue is theology, music, dress, translations, mental illnesses or even *gasp* homosexuality you will find resources on the issue coming from a wide spectrum. Spend time reading up on the issue and touching base with the person. Once you’ve got a grasp of it or if you are already familiar with it; open up the dialogue with them.

Conclusion

I don’t claim to be an expert in such issues but I’ve read time and time again the accounts of many people who experienced negative reactions and what they would have liked to have had happen. In my own personal experience I’ve had to struggle with my family and I’ve lost friends due to my beliefs.

This is nothing compared to what I’ve seen others go through so I am almost embarrassed mentioning it but I do so to say this: In the situations I’ve been in I would have liked it if the people I knew responded this way rather than emotionally. Ostracization is probably the most painful reaction and I suggest at the very least you don’t respond in such a manner.

Personally, I’ve got a habit of responding emotionally to personal hurt but I’m working on it and whilst doing so I encourage people now to begin reading up on various issues in order to be able to respond biblically when the time comes. We may very well not let loose but if we haven’t a biblical answer to their perceived problem than that isn’t much good either.

Until next week, God bless!

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