To speak or not to speak

Our tongue can have a profound impact for good or for evil. God’s Word gives us clear instruction as to what our tongues should and should not be used for. In talking about the younger widows, Paul states that “they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not” (1 Timothy 5:13). As women we so often are prone to spread a malicious word, a deceitful word. And our words can do great damage. They can ruin friendships and forever damage our character. God’s Word talks very seriously about gossip and we would do well to stop and think about what kind of words are coming out of our mouths. Which would you say your words have most often been characterized by in the last week: encouraging, kind, wholesome, pleasant, sympathetic, loving, gracious or malicious, hateful, slanderous, deceitful, accusing, angry, lying? Are we quick to get caught up in scandal? Do we seek out the latest story on this or that person? Are we quick to believe the worst about others? Do we share the latest about someone through the guise of a prayer request or ministry?

Titus 2:3 commends us to not be slanderers. What is slander? Slander is speaking evil of someone. As Christian women we need to commit to not speaking evil of anyone. Elizabeth George, in her book A Woman’s High Calling, gives some very helpful instruction on this very important topic of gossip. She gives four causes for gossip. First is because of an evil heart. “Out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). Second is hatred. Third is foolishness. “Whoever utters slander is a fool” (Proverbs 10:18). When we speak gossip we are declaring ourselves to be fools. Fourth is idleness. The younger widows had too much time on their hands and went from house to house speaking gossip.

What are some ways that we can overcome gossip?

• We need to think godly thoughts about others. Always think the best. Don’t be quick to believe everything you hear.
• Realize that gossip is sin and confess and forsake it.
• Agree with your friends not to gossip.
• Avoid people who tend to gossip and places where you are prone to hear gossip.
• Be very careful with your time on the phone. Try to handle your conversations quickly on the phone. Maybe it would be helpful for you to set a timer. “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent” (Proverbs 10:19).
• Say nothing. We would do well to remember the old saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
• Stay busy. Don’t let yourself be idle. Keep to a schedule so you don’t have time to listen to or speak gossip.

I encourage you to take some time to read what God has to say about the tongue. Look up “tongue” in your concordance and read the verses in Psalms and Proverbs. You’ll soon see how very powerful our tongue is.

“Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.  See how great a forest a little fire kindles!” (James 3:4-5)

May we take our example from the Proverbs 31 woman, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”

Treasures to Share

Susan Hunt has written some wonderful children’s books that are a great aid in teaching biblical truth.

My ABC Bible Verses: Hiding God’s Word in Little Hearts has a verse for every letter of the alphabet and a short story to illustrate each one.

Big Truths for Little Kids: Teaching Your Children to Live for God includes the catechism.  Wonderful little stories are written to help apply the catechism to everyday life.

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