Love Your Husband
Last week I introduced a series I’ll be writing on for the next several weeks covering the seven qualities we find in Titus 2:3-5 of the younger woman.
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Have you ever stopped to think why a wife would need to be taught to love her husband? Isn’t it obvious that a wife would love her husband? Isn’t that only natural? Actually, it isn’t our natural inclination to love and cherish our husbands. In fact, our natural hearts are prone to sin. It is a quality that must be learned. And the wonderful news is that through God’s grace we can learn to cherish, love, and honour our husbands.
It’s interesting to note in this verse that Paul used phileo instead of agape to describe the love we are to have for our husbands. Agape is a sacrificial love whereas phileo is an affectionate love. While we are certainly to show sacrificial love to our husbands, here Paul encourages us to learn to show affectionate love. As women, we often find it easier to show sacrificial love. We’ll cook, sew, clean, and serve in any other way. But when it comes to showing affection, often it’s a love that is not so readily apparent.
What are some ways that we can show affectionate love to our husbands? Certainly, whole books have been written on this very subject. But I would like to quickly just focus on three aspects of affectionate love. First of all, we show affectionate love by prizing our husbands. Next to God, our husband needs to be the most important person in our life. We need to focus our energy and time on meeting his needs, on being his helper. Have you realized that God has specially suited you to be your husband’s helper? No one is better suited to the job. Do we let our children or friends or ministry crowd in and take over our husband’s rightful position in our life? Remember back to when you were first dating and the desire you had to spend all your time with him and learn once again to show that same zeal and passion to be with him.
Secondly, affectionate love is shown by respecting your husband. We respect by always thinking the best of our husbands. Affirm him, encourage him, support him. Have confidence in his judgment and his abilities. Don’t be quick to disagree with a decision he makes. We show respect by not making assumptions on his motives. Don’t assume that your husband doesn’t want to help carry the groceries in when he doesn’t volunteer for the job. Just ask for his help. Respect is also shown by what we say about our husbands in public. We need to be careful to never say anything in front of others to belittle, degrade, tease or complain about our husbands. In fact, we should be looking for opportunities to build our husbands up in front of others. Seek to honestly praise your husband in public.
Thirdly, we can show affectionate love by adoring and cherishing our husbands. Look for little ways to show your husband you care. Stick love notes in his lunch box. Surprise him with his favourite meal or dessert. Plan for someone to look after the kids and take him out on a special date. Spend some time doing something he enjoys together. Look for creative ways that you can show your husband that you cherish him.
By God’s grace, I hope you will take whatever next step you need to learn to show your husband affectionate love, a love that prizes him, respects him and adores him. Think of a way that you can show your husband affectionate love today and do it.
“She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
Treasures to Share
If you have some trouble getting those creative juices flowing, GirlTalk has some great ideas for showing affectionate love to your husband. And if you haven’t already seen it, they’ve made some great updates to their site.
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Good post. Thanks! =D