Love Your Children

My three little ones are all sleeping peacefully in their beds, the house is quiet, and I just finished reviewing a chapter in Feminine Appeal on loving my children.  I find myself encouraged and reinvigorated for tomorrow to love my children with a tender, affectionate love.  Yet I know the same challenges that faced me today are going to be there again tomorrow.  There will be the early wake-up call, laundry to wash, schooling to do, crumbs to clean up under the table, dirty nappies, messy faces and hands, fighting, fussing, and disobedience to deal with, and that’s just the morning.  If I’m not careful I’ll find myself quickly swallowed up by resentment, self-pity and complaining as I care for my children.  I’m so busy “doing” for my children that I forget to enjoy them.  That’s why Paul again chooses to use phileo in Titus 2 to describe the love we are to show our children, a tender, affectionate love full of joy and delight in our children.

As mothers, we have a choice.  We can either resent the challenges and demands that accompany motherhood and persist in our selfishness, or we can draw from God’s grace and receive His help to cheerfully lay down our lives for our children. (Feminine Appeal, Carolyn Mahaney, pg. 53)

In an effort to enjoy our children, we might tend to drift to the opposite extreme of over-indulging our children.  We need to beware of becoming tolerant of ungodly behavior by giving in to their every demand, wish and desire.  Showing affectionate love does not conflict with the need to teach and train them.  In fact, Proverbs 13:24 tells us that withholding discipline is actually a sign of hatred, not love.

How can we show tender, affectionate love to our children?

• By tender thoughts.  We need to think of our children as God’s Word describes them, as blessings, rewards, and a heritage not as the world so often describes them as responsibilities, sacrifices, work and burdens.
• By tender behaviour.  Our love need not be complicated or expensive.  It can be as simple as spending time reading a book, sitting and listening, singing a song, cooking together.  So often it’s those seemingly insignificant moments that our children enjoy the most and sense our love the most.

Above all, our highest objective with our children needs to be to show them Christ.  As mothers we have a great opportunity to influence our children to receive Christ.  We cannot save our children.  God must draw them.  But He can use our tender love as an instrument in bringing them to Himself.  Our goal must always be to show our children their need to repent of their sins and trust in Christ as their Saviour and to then reflect Christ in their every action, word, and deed.

Yes, it is an awesome responsibility.  Our own strength is not sufficient for the task.  We need to draw on God’s grace each day.  And His grace is sufficient to give us the strength to love our children affectionately, tenderly, and joyfully!

Treasures to Share

I may have shared some of these resources before, but I thought I would use this opportunity to recommend some great books on parenting.

• Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp
• Instructing a Child’s Heart by Tedd and Margy Tripp
• Teach Them Diligently by Lou Priolo
• Don’t Make Me Count to Three: A Mom’s Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline by Ginger Plowman
• The Mission of Motherhood; The Ministry of Motherhood; and The Mom Walk by Sally Clarkson
• Everyday Talk: Talking Freely and Naturally about God with your Children by John Younts

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