Over the past few years I have become increasingly concerned with the ‘celebrity driven’ nature of our society. With the growth of social media, many people live their lives as ‘wannabe celebrities’. Selfies, tweets and posts designed to garner ‘likes’ take up so much of our internet activity and thought space. It is very narcissistic. The more we connect online, the less depth we seem to have in our real relationships. It begs the question, ‘do we know how to love well’? Love must be more than sharing a post or updating a status. So how can we love better?
1. Recognise that Jesus first loved us:
Romans 5:8 – But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us
True Love cannot be displayed until we grasp that we are not naturally lovers. Our sin nature is our default position. Selfishness is our first instinctive reaction. That is until we realise that Jesus loved us while we were still sinners. He took the initiative and made the first move. The significance of this is that love is pro-active, not re-active. Love does not wait until it is compelled to respond. It looks for a need and takes the initiative to meet that need. It gives regardless of an expected return. Love is based in truth regardless of opposition or difficulty. As we understand the true love of Jesus for us, only then can we give true love to others.
2. Consider a social media hiatus.
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things
I am not suggesting we go Amish, but do we recognise that we may have become addicted to social approval? Love does not seek approval. I don’t see a lot of love of social media. I see a lot of bullying, self-absorbtion, protest and general rancour. We become what we consume, so it may be necessary to stop consuming social media in order to re-start a diet of consuming things that are lovely and of good report.
3. Spend face-time with others:
Proverbs 27:17 – As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another
That is physical face to face time. And we should spend time with those who build us up. If we have friends who are constantly negative, churlish or rude, it may be time to find new friends. If we want to grow, we need a support network of friends who will spur us on to love and good works. Furthermore, are we that type of friend to others. Do we build up and encourage others? It may take a change in our thinking, but we need to look for ways to support others rather than seeking self-validation.
4. Love yourself:
John 1:12 – But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God
I don’t mean in the new age way, but in an uplifting way. I recently heard this quote, “If someone else spoke to me, the way that I speak to myself, that person would not be my friend”. It is amazing how badly we self-talk to ourselves. The devil is having a hey day with it. Yet the Bible is full of Jesus love and validation of us as a person in His image and a child in Christ. We must practice positive self talk in the light of our identity in Christ. That will help us love ourselves better and more correctly. As we love ourselves, then we are healthy enough to love others.
My prayer for myself and my prayer for you is that we will learn to love well. May you experience joy and liberation as you discover true love in all its fulness
Blessings
JC
6 Comments
Jason Harris
Thanks for that post Jeremy. I cringe at point four, but I think I know (and agree with) what you mean there. The post was excellent for me though. You’ve highlighted some real issues that I need to think about.
Jeremy Crooks
Jason,
Yes I know what you mean about cringing at the term ‘Loving Yourself’. I too automatically think about the passages which describe our depravity and deceived hearts. (which are true). That part was well communicated to me through my IFB days. But in light of our redeemed value in Christ, I believe we should more frequently practice positive Biblical self-talk. God no longer views us as depraved but as saints. If we remind ourselves about how God values us – which is forgiven, redeemed saints with the power of the Holy Spirit – then I dare say we will be more joyful and productive.
Peter Moroney
Jeremy,
When have we seen a similar movement in history? What did it look like? What where the results? The social media phenomenon looked at first to be synoptisicm, the medievil court culture ‘of the many watching the few’..but we are way past that. Your article agitates the concerns neatly and im thinking through your remedy.
Jeremy Crooks
Hi Pete,
Interesting observation about previous movements in history. I suspect the scale and constancy of social media today is without historical precedent. Two sad event in the last week drive this home.
1. Tragically, an Indian teen committed suicide when her parents told her she could not use facebook. She said she could not live without facebook. That is serious addiction.
2. The public spat between Mark Dricsoll and John MacArthur’s conference. A silly dialogue over permission to distribute books has morphed into a event where Christianity and Jesus name is mocked by the world. This would not have been possible without social media.
I am not saying social media is intrinsically evil, but its power is undeniable. And because of our sin nature, generally that power is used for evil. I don’t have the answer, but certainly would welcome your thoughts.
Peter Moroney
Hi Jeremy – I agree the times are unique, but also familiar – if only we would interpret it. Like you, I don’t think social media is intrinsically evil,any more evil than the printing press, rather has heaps of positivies. (though sometimes it feels like a torrent of false teaching Rev 12:15) Like anything, Its a matter of the heart – I remember studying intellectual property law and the lecturer impressed on us the “newness of the law” – really? isn’t it just do not steal, do not bear false witness, do not covet, do not commit adultery, Love the Lord your God etc.
Jeremy Crooks
100% It is about the heart. There is nothing new under the sun in terms of the human condition. We will use whatever medium is available to further our desires. I was impressed with how this article (even from a secular perspective) encapsulates the social ‘battle for the mind’.
http://thefederalist.com/2013/11/04/facebook-mobs-death-individuality/#.Unf7LKyJbXg.facebook
Personally, I am pondering this issue deeply.
1. As in real-life, if our online conversation is idle or unloving, it may be time to get new facebook friends.
2. I like how you bring Revelation into the picture. Tech advancement does feel apocalyptic. The ubiquitous use of the smartphone (and soon to be Google glass) for commerce, feels like a ‘mark of the best’ embedded in our hands or foreheads. Again, I have a smartphone, so I am not saying it is evil, but way society worships ‘connectivity’ and its power to buy, sell and communicate is amazing. If we were to get rid of our smartphones, would we even be able to have a career? That point seems not far away.