As I have grown to know myself better, I too despair at how, I do not live according to the reality of God’s presence.   I have secret sins – sins that I struggle with when ‘no-one else’ is watching and sins that I am not going to openly confess on this forum.  You have secret sins too.

Whether it be ‘clearing history’, ‘hitting the apple home button’, or changing the channel’; we are quick to wipe the evidence when our brothers or sisters are about to look over our shoulder.   But God has been looking the whole time.  <gulp>   At this point we feel low.   Why do we fall so quickly and so often?

If our conscience is not overly seared, then in our <gulp moment> we see our nakedness and vow to never eat the forbidden fruit again … but we do commit the same sins again.    Our shame and own strength may keep us from re-offending for a few days, but inevitably we return to the viscous cycle of ‘living without Jesus on our shoulder’.

How do we break the cycle, gain victory, and return to believing in God’s omniscience?

1. Break the Cycle  - Grace Overcomes Guilt.   Guilt is a horrible feeling that God designed as a schoolmaster to bring us to God.  As soon as we feel sinful shame, let’s eradicate guilt by claiming Jesus’ grace and forgiveness.   The frequency of our sin demands that we confess our sins daily.

2.  Gain Victory – No condemnation in Christ:  Christ does not condemn us.  He declares us to have won victory through Him.  (Romans 8:1)  If we look at the frequency of our sin, we will be depressed.   If we look at the greatness of God’s grace, we will be inspired and uplifted.    Continually reveling in God’s grace will help us to not regularly return to those secret sins.

3. Live in the Spirit – Omnipresent God on our Shoulder:    As we pray, meditate on Scripture, and abide (talk) with Jesus, we will reign with Him.  The more Spirit-filled we are, the more we will seek God and long for future glory with Him.   We will become more and more aware of God’s omniscience.

Finally, God is not surprised when we fall.  Rather He dwells with us, cheering for us to gain the victory.  That is what a truly loving Abba Father does.   :-)

Blessings

JC

]]> http://teaminfocus.com.au/the-all-seeing-eye/feed/ 0 http://teaminfocus.com.au/hope-for-homosexuals/ http://teaminfocus.com.au/hope-for-homosexuals/#comments Wed, 20 Jul 2011 20:00:46 +0000 Jane Gibb http://teaminfocus.com.au/?p=9652 In the last blogging segment I wrote a post called “Straight Talk about Gay Guys”, trying to touch on the issue of homophobia in our local churches and in ourselves.  The topic of homosexuality—both gay and lesbian—is uncomfortable for many of us.  But it won’t go away, and it’s probably closer to home than most of us are willing to admit.

What should a Bible-believing Christian do when he or she finds himself or herself attracted to a person of the same sex?

The Gay Christian movement answers, “If you have feelings for that person, go for it.  There is nothing wrong with a monogamous loving relationship regardless of sexual orientation.”

But that conclusion ignores the plain meaning of Scripture when it says, “Male and female He created them.”

Aussie Bible-Believer, who commented on my last post on this topic declares: “There is NO verse to prove that God loves Sodomites . . . give them some hell-fire preaching which they and the rest of this country needs [sic].”

However, “God so loved the world that he gave his only Son” clearly has no exception clauses—either for “Sodomites” or for those who hate them.  God’s love for the world covers the most obscene and the most seemingly benign of sinners.   Aussie Bible-Believer has forgotten that “fornication and lewdness” (not just the homosexual variety either!) is listed with “hatred and outbursts of wrath” in disqualifying us for the kingdom of God.  In the book of Proverbs pride is listed multiple times while homosexuality is not even mentioned.  If mere cowering at the wrath of God were enough to purge homosexual feelings, same-sex attraction wouldn’t be such a hot topic.

So what should a man do when his feelings for other men just won’t go away?  Or what should a woman do when her feelings for other women persist?

Take a look at this website:  http://www.truefreedomtrust.co.uk/

 True freedom Trust (TfT) is a confidential Christian support and teaching ministry for men and women who accept the Bible’s prohibition of same-sex practice and yet are aware of same-sex attractions, or struggle with other sexual and relational issues. We also offer support to families, friends and church leaders of those who face these issues in their lives.

 Based in the UK, TfT offers help for both homosexuals and those who want to help them.  Clearly taking the stand that “any sexual relationship outside of marriage between one man and one woman falls short of God’s plan for His creation”, TfT also questions the assumption that healing for a person with same-sex attraction means replacing it with opposite sex attraction.  TfT contends that “contentment and wholeness are found by trusting and following Jesus Christ, rather than being defined by the absence of same-sex attractions.”  The fact that the ministry was founded in 1977 by Martin Hallett, who himself lived a homosexual lifestyle until Christ radically transformed his life in 1972, lends real credibility to the message of TfT.

I don’t know of any ministries like this in Australia, but perhaps some of you do.  Please let us all know in the comments section.  Helping a brother or sister who struggles with sexuality is following the command to “bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

God has never been silent on sex, so why have we?  Maybe it is because we hate that our old nature still desires sexual perversion.   Maybe it is because fundamentalism is wrongly proud in its outward standards.   It is time we lifted the veil of embarrassment and false morality, and started to speak openly and truthfully.   The following 10 point approach is a suggested framework for considering how to start this change.

1.  Genesis needs more emphasis.   We are God’s creation – male and female – with a body and a spirit.  The gender roles and our physical and emotional desires were all formed by God before the fall.  We need to lay the correct foundation before we can build using other precepts.

2.  Sexual topics must be preached from the front regularly (but after the kids go out).   Each of us face sexual temptation daily, so lets make our preaching application driven towards our issues.  When was the last time we preached through Song of Songs expositionally?

3.  Technology has put sex on steroids.   Every Christian should use internet and mobile devices filters, foxtel and iTunes restrictions, etc.   This has helped me as I battle my old nature.  It is not fool proof, but it does reduce the amount of instant temptation.  And porn is not just a guy issue.

4. Let’s be honest about our temptations and weaknesses.  We respect leaders who are open and honest about their struggles.   Too many church leaders have pretended they are not tempted only to suddenly leave their wife for a mistress.

5.  We should be more explicit in appropriate contexts.   Topics such as masturbation, oral sex, iPhone porn, vibrators, birth control, hormones, secrets etc should be discussed openly, but face to face, in gender specific groups.  We all read www.news.com.au or similar, so lets bring God’s thinking on these topics to the fore.

6. Homosexuality, gay marriage and orgies are the issues of the day.   Let’s boldly and humbly promote God’s view.  Our opinion is no more valid than the world’s opinion.  It is not us against them, but it is recognising that all sex outside male/female marriage is not authorised by God.

7. Self-control.  We must talk about techniques for battling temptation.  From Scripture memory, to Christian music, to prayer, to choosing relationships wisely, to a cold shower, to fleeing lust, to accountability and recovery.  We must arm ourselves with tools to prevent and repair.

8.  If we, or our children, do not have the gift of singleness, we should promote opportunities towards godly marriage early in life.   Delayed adulthood and delayed marriage has promoted promiscuity and devalued commitment.

9. We must promote sex as a good thing.   As it has been said, ’the best way to counter something that should not be done, it to explain how it should be done’.  Amorous sex in marriage should be encouraged.

10.  Sex can be used as a segue to the gospel.   God created the marriage union as a picture of redeeming his bride.  Once we accept that sex does not provide eternal satisfaction, then we will be open for embracing God’s everlasting saving grace.

In all of this, grace, humility and purity need to be maintained.   You may or may not agree with all these ideas, but I welcome your feedback on how we can tackle this elephant more effectively.

Blessings

Because Tim’s writing is Bible-based, his perspective is realistic, in the best sense.  Here’s an example:

No matter how mature you get in this area, the battle doesn’t end. Yes, detox is real. It’s needed, it’s critical, it’s an absolute must-have. But it’s no magic bullet or stake in the heart of your sin. Think of the purest, most noble, most mature Christian man you know. He is probably far more immune to porn’s enticements than most guys, but he is not completely immune. Neither will you be. Ever.

The wonderful transformation of a deep and thorough detox is necessary. Then, you will be stronger. There will be a new lightness and sense of freedom and joy in God as he pours out fresh grace. But none of us ever “arrive” in any kind of permanent way. We never become immune to this parasite of the soul.

So, getting free and staying free are different things but they involve the same process: Repentance, putting off the old, and putting on the new. You need to practice all three, on a regular basis, for the rest of your life.

You can buy it here in print or download the e-book.

Ben Kwok

One thing I find over and over again is how desperate people are for Biblical teaching on the subject of sexuality.  Recently at a ladies’ Bible study I was teaching on marriage, we spent two sessions on the subject of marital intimacy.  Plenty of questions were fired, and I was surprised how candid the ladies were in that “safe” setting.  After one particularly curly question, one woman commented, “Jane, you have no idea how big this topic is.”  Christian books–good, bad and ugly–abound on the subject yet there is still great need for teaching on this subject in the church.  Plenty of negative sexual propaganda blasts from the mass media, leaving its mark on all but the most vigilant.  Acceptance of sexual perversion as normal undergirds much of what we observe in the marketplace of personal relationships.  As Christians we must consciously and radically re-educate ourselves on this topic.  But how?

1.  Surrender your sexuality and all your thinking about it to God

2.  Be wary of anything that stimulates a false picture of romantic love.  Romance novels are notorious for this, as well as a good chunk of the movie industry, not to mention a lot of secular love songs.

3.  Study key passages in the Bible on this topic.  Starting with Genesis 2 work your way through the Old Testament, noting God’s instructions about sexuality and God’s judgment against those who pervert His plan.   Enjoy the very beautiful love poetry of the Song of Solomon—not everything about sex in the Bible is negative!  In the New Testament, don’t miss Jesus’ expansion of the law in Matthew 5:27-32.   A few other passages not to be missed are Romans 1, 1 Corinthians 6:12-7:40, and 1 Thessalonians 4:1-10.

4.  Read some good Christian books on the topic of sexuality.  I recently enjoyed Love That Lasts by Gary and Betsy Ricucci, which devotes two chapters to romance and intimacy.  Elisabeth Elliot’s Passion and Purity is a Christian classic for singles on “loving passionately while remaining sexually pure”.

5.  Pray for a spiritually-minded person you can trust to mentor you through your questions and struggles.

At the end of our camp sessions on sexual purity, some questions arose:  “If I’m a guy and I have feelings for other guys, is that wrong in itself?”  “I’ve already lost my purity.  Is there any hope for people like me who have blown it?”

Thank God His gospel is a fountain of grace for those who struggle, even in the area of sex.

Whatever state you currently find yourself in, whether single or married, God requires purity in your relationships. In Romans 13, God’s Word tells us to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” Left to our own sinful desires we will struggle to resist temptation. Therefore, we must make a conscious effort to keep from putting ourselves in a position in which we will be vulnerable to temptation. Here are some questions to consider as you think about this area of purity in relationships.

For single women:

• Do I have standards and convictions regarding physical activity in a relationship clearly thought out and written down? Have I based those convictions on God’s Word or my own opinions?
• Am I focusing right now on being who God wants me to be? Am I pursuing godliness?
• Am I making room for the flesh by being alone with my boyfriend?
• Am I making myself accountable to my parents or another authority in my life?
• Am I running away from sexual immorality or am I running to it?
• Are my emails/text messages flirtatious or am I pursuing purity even with my words?
• Am I looking for a relationship to satisfy me?

For married women:

• Am I entertaining thoughts of another man besides my husband?
• Am I careful not to share my husband’s faults/marriage problems with another man?
• Do men in my workplace think of me as flirtatious?
• Am I careful to avoid being alone with another man?
• Do I open myself up emotionally to a man besides my husband?
• Am I toying with sexual immorality by chatting with a man online?
• Am I committed to my husband and pursuing an exciting sexual relationship with him?

When, where and with whom are you most tempted to satisfy your desires and give in to the flesh?   God demands purity of us.  His Word is very clear.  There is no gray area.  He tells us to not make provision for the flesh.  It is imperative that we devise a biblical strategy to keep us from giving in to our sinful desires.  Let’s also be careful to not think that we are above a certain temptation, and remember that God gives the strength to obey what He demands.

Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:12-13

Sometimes the way of escape is to avoid temptation in the first place!

Treasures to Share

Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ’s Control by Elisabeth Elliot is an excellent book and especially influential for young women who desire to follow God’s command to live a life of purity.

By Linda Sabry

It is the Lord’s will for His daughters to present themselves as pure vessels before men and radiate in feminine beauty. In 1 Timothy 2:9a women are instructed to “…adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety …”.

As we explore together the Scriptures on the topic of modesty, may we cry out to God as David did in Psalms 139: 23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” May we pray to our Father that He may convict our hearts through His Holy Spirit of anything in our wardrobes which displeases Him.

Bringing glory to our King

Our purpose here on Earth as women of God is to bring glory to our Father in Heaven””not through our beautiful figures, charm or fashion sense, but through our good works. Matthew 5:16 says “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” The Lord has called us to shine the light of Jesus Christ amidst a dark and perverted world. The way we dress as women of God either hinders us from shinning bright or makes us shine brighter.

Truly it is so precious in the sight of God for His daughters to be noticed by their modest and elegant clothing. Proverbs chapter 31 describes a virtuous woman and portrays her worth as more valuable than rubies. Verse 22 describes her beautiful clothing”””She maketh herself coverings of tapestry: her clothing is silk and purple”. This shows that the Lord does not call us to cover ourselves from head to toe in unattractive clothing, in fact He wants us to dress beautifully and He delights in beauty and diversity. We know that it is God’s pleasure to make lovely things””from a delicate white snowdrop to the magnificent tiger lily””the Lord’s creation is truly beautiful. And in making us all different with different tastes, God gives us the freedom to add our special touch to whatever we wear as long as it is modest.

We are set apart from this world

In shining as lights through what we wear we must stand out in this world and not conform to the world’s dress standards. Romans 12:2 says that we should not be conformed to this world but transformed by the renewing of our minds, that we may prove what is that good and perfect, and acceptable will of God.

Let us guard our brothers’ eyes

As Christian women of God we must also ensure that we dress in a way which does not cause our brothers in Christ to stumble or lust after us. It is widely understood that a man is affected by what he sees and the lust of the eyes is described in Matthew 5:28. A man is guilty of adultery by lusting after a women with his eyes, but a women who dresses in a way to attract sexual attention to her body is just as guilty. Romans 14:21 warns us from doing anything that will cause our brother to fall.

Displaying feminine beauty

The Lord has called us to dress differently to men, Deuteronomy 22:5 says “The women shall not wear that which pertaineth to a man…”

Our clothing ought to show that we are women””gentle and softer than man and in submission rather than leadership. Our clothing ought to reflect our need to be cared for and treated with gentleness not to be treated as “˜one of the boys.’

The Lord’s standards are clear-cut

As mentioned earlier, God allows His daughters to express individuality in their choice of clothing (we don’t all have to dress in pink frills) but He is clear that there are standards that He has set in order to ensure that we are honouring Him in our presentation. When Adam and Eve’s eyes were opened to sin they realised their nakedness in the sight of God and proceeded to cover themselves with fig leaves””but this was not sufficient! God covered them with coats, which in Hebrew refers to a tunic-like garments, which covered them from the neck to below the knees. This shows that covering the bear minimum doesn’t cut it and as women of God we ought to really think twice when wearing swimsuits and bikinis on the beach or in swimming pools. Also there are numerous occasions in Scripture where the shame of a nation is metaphorically called the exposing of her nakedness. For example in Isaiah 47:1-2 Babylon is said to be put to shame by revealing her thigh and bare leg.

On a final note, the Lord does not call us to dress with different levels of modesty depending on whether we are at church, at work, or at the beach. In fact, as we have seen, the Bible is clear on dress standards, so we are either modest or immodest in what we wear. Regardless of the venue we ought to uphold God’s pure dress standards in order to show that we are different and bless the eyes of those that look upon us.

In closing…

The task to dress modestly can seem like an impossible one but the Lord knows our hearts and He promises to guide us through the Holy Spirit and help us along the way as we pursue pure and godly lives.

While it is so important for us to actively desire a modest wardrobe, we must bear in mind that modesty must start from the inside out. Modesty begins by putting others first, by dying to self, and by loving the Body of Christ. As Christian women and daughters of the Most High King, let us join in prayer that we may be virtuous women after God’s own heart, seeking to live our lives in such a way that points to Jesus Christ in all that we say, think, and do.

What to ask yourself before wearing a piece of clothing:

1. Is it modest?
2. Is it fit for the occasion/is it appropriate?
3. Does is draw attention to your body?
4. Would Christ be pleased with what you’re wearing?

[1] “˜Shamefacedness’ is the natural internal moral quality of blushing when sin is viewed as repulsive.

[2] “˜Sobriety’ is soberness or soundness of mind, resulting in self-constraint.

Linda Sabry is a member of Faith Baptist Church Croydon Park and writes for the Faith Baptist Newsletter. Linda is also active at Givemetruth.net.