Joy Harris Articles 37
Joy studied elementary education before going on to teach at the primary school level as well as homeschooling for twenty-six years. Joy has touched the lives of thousands through her ministry in state Religious Education, Sunday Schools, and Holiday Bible Clubs as well as through her speaking at various seminars and retreats. Joy is also a gifted musician and has collaborated on multiple recording projects as well as maintaining a private teaching studio for over thirty years. Joy currently does missions support spreading her time between Uganda, Vanuatu, and her home in Australia. Joy has seven children and twenty grandchildren. You can contact Joy at firstname.lastname@example.org.
"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.” - Deitrich Bonhoeffer She comes to her pastor trembling, testing his reaction to her tip-of-the-iceberg disclosure of the cruelty that persists behind the closed doors of her home. Not sure she will even be believed, she has forced herself into this vulnerable position because she is desperate. Inwardly, she fears that even telling anyone about her husband's abuse must be a sin. What will her pastor say? How should he respond? The church is the first place to which a woman should be able to run for protection! “A support group such as her church family can help her fulfil her role to “do good” to her abusive husband by coming alongside her with encouragement... Read more
These are some of the books by Christian authors that are available for use in self-education about marital abuse - both domestic violence and emotional/mental/verbal abuse. I have read only a small percentage of this list, therefore I naturally do not endorse every word, but I do believe the authors to be experienced in helping both the abused and the abuser. There is something to be learned from every person with whom we cross paths. Feel free to add more books that you have found in the comment section below. Mending the Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse by Steven R.Tracy The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft (founder of Emerge, the first abuse programme for men) Emotional Assau... Read more
It is natural for pastors and counsellors unfamiliar with the true nature of spouse abuse to assume that because a couple is married, meeting with them together makes sense. But the National Domestic Violence Hotline states that … in order for couples counselling to be successful, both partners must be willing to take responsibility for their actions and make adjustments to their behaviour. Abusive people want all of the power and control in the relationship and will focus on maintaining that imbalance, even if it means continuing unhealthy and hurtful behaviour patterns. . . . an abusive partner’s focus on manipulating the sessions to place blame, minimize the abuse, and attempt to win over the therapist to their side. If the therapist tries to hold the abusive partner accountable for the... Read more
After an abuse victim has separated from her husband due to repetitive and serious sin, she will be faced with deciding what her response will be when he approaches her about getting back together. Whether he comes with charm, tears or threats, it is crucial for her to first have full assurance that his heart is broken over the pain he has caused, he no longer minimises or justifies his sin, he welcomes consequences and accountability and he proves sincere long-lasting change. Narcissistic and entitlement issues are not easily dislodged. Forgiveness on her part does not assume reconciliation.1 And apologies on his part do not assume changed behaviour (cycle of abuse) Past behaviour is a realistic indicator of future behaviour. Forgiving? Yes. Forgetting? Not in abuse situations. The last p... Read more
"A truly repentant person does not negotiate the consequences of his actions." 1 Scene: an abused wife has followed Biblical principles and the couple is now separated. One day, her unrepentant husband shows up at the door with her favourite flowers. He says he's had time to think about their relationship. He's sorry, it won't happen again and he wants to get back together. He needs her. God's way IS reconciliation (I Corinthians 7:11) and no one is advocating hard-heartedness, but she will be “out of the frying pan into the fire” if she does not have convincing evidence first, proving that “godly sorrow” has brought repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10) and genuine change. A Changed Heart - Not An Apology “In the center of the narcissistic apology is the offender saying, “I am hurting because... Read more