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God’s Heart for Community

God’s Heart for Community

From the very beginning of time, God purposefully designed and destined us for interrelationships.     In Genesis 1:26, we have the first glimpse of God (the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) determining to create mankind when he said ‘Let us make man in our own own image’  And God did not just create man to display his power, he created Adam to have a direct relationship with him.   As primary as our individual relationship with God is, God also created us for other relationships.   Still in creation, God said that it is not good for man to be alone.   In Genesis 2:18, God said that It is not good for man to be alone.   I will make a helper suitable to him.   For man he created a female helpmeet.   He then instructed Adam and Eve to reproduce and form new family units.   God defined and ...

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The Jesus who was and is

The Jesus who was and is

Resurrection! Life! He is risen! These are the joyous exclamations of the season. The realities we celebrate during the holy week are truly glorious. Stunning. Even staggering. So staggering, in fact, that we can easily sail straight past such stupendous outcrops without taking the mental energy to notice their sheer magnitude and grandeur. If you'll allow me, I'd like to point out a few of these landmarks we know so well we sometimes forget to see. First, Jesus was. Let that reality sink in for a moment. It hasn't even been two thousand years since Jesus walked the streets of Jerusalem and slept and ate and breathed in our world. This isn't even debatable. No ancient history specialist could reasonably refute it. I know of none who even tries. If you want to know why, I outlined some of t ...

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Books about Marital Abuse

Books about Marital Abuse

These are some of the books by Christian authors that are available for use in self-education about marital abuse - both domestic violence and emotional/mental/verbal abuse. I have read only a small percentage of this list, therefore I naturally do not endorse every word, but I do believe the authors to be experienced in helping both the abused and the abuser. There is something to be learned from every person with whom we cross paths.  Feel free to add more books that you have found in the comment section below. Mending the Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse  by Steven R.Tracy The Emotionally Destructive Marriage   by Leslie Vernick Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft (founder of Emerge, the first abuse programme for men) Emotional Assau ...

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Why Marital Counseling is Not An Option

Why Marital Counseling is Not An Option

It is natural for pastors and counsellors unfamiliar with the true nature of spouse abuse to assume that because a couple is married, meeting with them together makes sense. But the National Domestic Violence Hotline states that … in order for couples counselling to be successful, both partners must be willing to take responsibility for their actions and make adjustments to their behaviour. Abusive people want all of the power and control in the relationship and will focus on maintaining that imbalance, even if it means continuing unhealthy and hurtful behaviour patterns. . . . an abusive partner’s focus on manipulating the sessions to place blame, minimize the abuse, and attempt to win over the therapist to their side. If the therapist tries to hold the abusive partner accountable for the ...

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Reconciliation After Separation

Reconciliation After Separation

After an abuse victim has separated from her husband due to repetitive and serious sin, she will be faced with deciding what her response will be when he approaches her about getting back together. Whether he comes with charm, tears or threats, it is crucial for her to first have full assurance that his heart is broken over the pain he has caused, he no longer minimises or justifies his sin, he welcomes consequences and accountability and he proves sincere long-lasting change. Narcissistic and entitlement issues are not easily dislodged. Forgiveness on her part does not assume reconciliation.1 And apologies on his part do not assume changed behaviour (cycle of abuse) Past behaviour is a realistic indicator of future behaviour. Forgiving? Yes. Forgetting? Not in abuse situations. The last p ...

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